Having just passed the annual day of romance when most men feel compelled to at least give romance some thought I got to thinking about the issue in general. Some men are naturally romantic, and others simply don’t know what it means. Every person has their own definition on the subject so I think it’s wise to decide what it means to you, and tell your man what you expect from him. When it comes to romance, you need to know what you like about it, is it the action? Or the way it makes you feel?
Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams from "Blue Valentine" (2010)
Being romantic is not always about what your partner buys for you, or the holidays that he takes you on. It is also about simple loving actions and how they make you feel. With communication and patience, you can transform your man into the hopeless romantic that you have been longing for.
Communication is key
Men and women have different ways of communicating. Your boyfriend might think that filling your tank up with petrol is being romantic, but you would prefer him to run you a bath and cook you a nice meal. It is up to you to let him know what you like; therefore, tell him the things that you find romantic and be very direct.
Make him feel that being romantic is his idea. If you see something romantic in a film, or you read something in a book or a magazine, mention it, and then change the subject; this way, you have planted the idea in his head, which will lead to him thinking about how he can be more romantic in the relationship.
If you have the expectation that romance is about a man on a white horse, and candle lit dinners in front of a log fire, you may want to rethink your ideas, there are several simple romantic ideas that your man can do for you, such as giving you a foot massage after a hard day’s work.
Lead by example
All the romantic things that you expect your boyfriend to do for you, you should do for him first. Send flowers to him at work, when there is no special occasion. With the flowers, you can include a card telling him how grateful you are that you are a part of his life. If he does not do the same in return, send him another bunch of flowers as a hint that you wish him to return the gesture.
Cook a romantic dinner for him at least twice a month. Make him his favorite meal, or take him to a restaurant that he likes. If he has ever bought you jewellery or perfume, wear it as well as something sexy, so that he notices the effort that you have put into the occasion. During your time together, talk about how much you wish you could spend more time having intimate dinners.
Have a discussion with him about how much you love his romantic side, and that you would like to see more of it. Be specific about the things that he has done that you like.
If your boyfriend is not romantic by nature, give him time to develop because it is not something that is just going to happen. You should not place unrealistic expectations on what to expect from him, or you may end up disappointed.
About the Author
Grace Pamer is the author of www.RomanticFrugalMom.com, one woman’s on going quest to keep romance alive despite the time pressure of dealing with three beautiful but crazy kids and an always working husband.