While there are tons of help books on becoming a mother, its still does not prepare you for what’s about to come. Lack of sleep, work/life balance, sibling rivalry (if there’s more in your clan) or to finding your mom-jo isn’t something that can be written or we can prepare ourselves for. Just how you deal with it, is the answer!
Starting a family later in life, did I think maybe I knew what I was getting myself into, but nope, not anything that my other mom friends had recommended for my newborn did my first or even second one love. Not one kid is the same, nor parenting style, so here are my 8 steps that I’ve picked up in my years of motherhood that has me and more happy wife, friend and mother:
1. Go With The Flow: Your little one dictates how your day will be. I know we all have checklist that we feel we must accomplish in any given day, but with kids that usually goes out the window. Moment to moment things change, so learn to adapt and make the best out of it.
2. Eyes Wide Open: To you and me every leaf and ant is pretty much the same, but not to a two year old. Try to actively notice things as your child does ie, is that an ant dragging a big piece of bread? Trust me, your kid will love you more for noticing that.
3. Give Yourself A Break: I’m a perfectionist. Trying to please everyone, taking on class mom duties and/or beating myself up for declining birthday parties is completely exhausting. I’ve realized that all of those moments add up to create a much more stressful life. Its how you spend your time, that counts. So now I don’t fret if I decline on an event just because the weather is nice, there are times when you just need to hit the beach with the family instead.
4. Reconnect With Your Spouse: The center of your network, is your spouse, remember him? Ask yourself, what are some small, manageable things that you both can be doing to keep your connection to each other strong…I am a true believer of date night, out and in. Yes there are times when a babysitter is not available, but once those kiddies are asleep, sit back and relax. For me, the hubby and I indulge in NetFlix’s Orange is the New Black…no binge watching here.
5. Surround Yourself With Positive People: We’ve all had friends and now moms that judge…moms that don’t support you, judge your or don’t listen to you the way you should. There’s no time for that. I truly feel like friendships you develop as a mom is important, these are your go to gals for support and for those much needed girls night out.
6. Dress The Part: A a fashion mom blogger, I am can testify that I love me some fashion (for me and the kids). But a big part of feeling your best has to do with knowing what for your outing with the kids. I was almost stubborn about forcing certain styles just for late night with the gals or hubby. I love a pair of high heels and a mini skirt. Unfortunately those specific styles simply aren’t the playground nor for anything when children are involved. Save those heels and high maintenance look for night out and accept that your style is now versatile, comfortable and accessible (especially if you are breastfeeding). Focus on things that work.
7. Get Enough Sleep: Most of us know that money can’t buy happiness, but who knew that a good night’s sleep just might? So how can you sneak in that extra hour or two? Well, that where your hubby can help, ask him to cover for you on the weekends so she you can sleep in or nap. It absolutely makes a difference in the way you feel. And with a little more sleep you are more willing to do something active, like taking your kids to the park. If your tired, you’re in a bad mood and we know how that can go…..
8. Do Something For You: This blog started out of passion when I found myself venting about all things motherhood. I constantly try out new things, hoping to find something I love. Sometimes they work and other times they don’t. But the point is to always push yourself to try new things, since you never know what will turn into something really meaningful.
What makes you a happier mom?